Diary Entry 3

I don’t know where to put this.  I don’t want to post it as a status in Facebook. Twitter’s 140 characters won’t fit. Text messages are just not my thing. My diary. I don’t want to put this sad entry there. Gusto ko kasi, after n years, when I read my diary, I will remember the happy days and not the sad ones.

 

I’m just sad. I don’t know. This is really not my thing. Madali akong magselos, everybody knows that. My friends even told me na yan ang reason kung bakit never akong tumagal. Let’s put it this way, “te Gelites, minsan kasi sobrang tanga mo.  Lakas mong magpakabulag sa mga bagay na nasa harap mo na. ayan na oh, kitang kita na na ginagamit ka, pinoprotektahan mo pa. Pero minsan, ay hinde. Madalas, sobrang selosa mo. Pati ata ako pinagselosan mo na eh”

 

well, true enough. Nahihirapan kasi talaga akong magtiwala. Madali lang makuha ang tiwala ko, pero hindi yung buong tiwala. Ilang beses na akong nagtiwala, pero laging sa maling tao. Masama bang medyo mag – ingat lang ako ngayon?  Hindi ko talaga alam kung kanino magtitiwala. Malay ko ba kung facade nya lang yun para makuha ang gusto nya? Nasaktan ako kaya ako nagdevelop ng barrier. Hindi ko alam kung tama pero unti – unti kang nakakapasok sa barrier and it’s not helping me at all.

 

WAIT, wala kang kasalanan. It’s not you, it’s me. Takot akong magtiwala pero takot akong mawala ka. Well, hindi ka ‘sakin’ pero ugh…. basta… nakakabaliw na ata… This is not healthy anymore…

 

Pero, alam mo? Ikaw ang unang nakabasag ng promise ko. Sabi ko hindi na ako ulit iiyak dahil sa lalaki. Well, I never knew na ilang months lang ang itatagal nun… sabi ko, hindi na ulit ako made – depress pero haha 🙂 amazing ka eh

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