In this life, we make decisions every second and each decision imposes an equivalent and heavy result. Sometimes, we lose something or someone important just for the cost of something that is really equally relevant. We lose friends, comrades, people just for the sake of the completion of a goal.
I seriously didn’t want to ditch anyone but things right now aren’t easy. I have my goals set and if only you knew about what’s going on in my life right now, maybe you could understand why I cannot be with you.
Every decision I make does not only reflect what I feel, want and yearn for. Most of them are contrary to what I WANT to do. They are the things that I MUST do not just for my own selfish self and future but also for those who are relying on me.
I don’t know if after this night, I am still allowed to call you as my ‘friends’. I have ditched you so many times. I even heard you outside my door saying that you are hurt. I am listening to everything you say whenever you guys are outside. I can’t do anything but weep silently because I can’t let you know.
I love all of you and yes, you are my strength whenever I fall down specially when I can’t let my family know about those moments. You helped me in everything. You are amazing. Without you, I am lonely AND alone.
I honestly don’t know how to redeem the things that I am breaking right now.
I just hope that someday, you can understand and forgive me. Please be happy in whatever you do. I will always be here rooting for you.
Again, I’m sorry.